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The Challenges of Post-Divorce Dating

Posted on in Divorce

CO divorce lawyerYou probably know at least one person, if not many people, who emerged from a divorce and jumped almost directly into a new romantic relationship—metaphorically before the ink even dried on their paperwork. Depending on the situation of your marriage and divorce, you may find the idea of a new romantic partner extremely appealing. There are several reasons, however, that you might want to take a step back and consider if you are truly ready for a new commitment so soon.

Divorce and Grief

Mental health experts regularly suggest that the psychological and emotional effects of a divorce are very similar to those associated with the death of a loved one. As with death, grieving the end of your marriage is a process and not an event that is over after a specified amount of time. Every person grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to move through it. This means that while some people may be ready to date again right away, others may not be emotionally prepared for months or even years. Sometimes, a person might never be ready for another new romantic relationship.

Casual vs. Serious Dating

As your marriage deteriorated, you may have experienced extreme loneliness and isolation. While you may feel like the only way to overcome these feelings is to find someone to date exclusively. There is, however, a middle ground. Without putting yourself at risk of another heartbreak with a new romance, you may consider casually dating and meeting a variety of people. You may even find that casual dating allows you to heal and rebuild your own confidence along the way.

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Getting Yourself Ready for a Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

CO divorce lawyerIf you have reached the point with your spouse that divorce has gone from “possible” to “almost certain,” you need to start thinking about the road that lies ahead. Of course, you should give some thought to your post-divorce situation, including where you will live and how you will afford your new life. The process of divorce itself, however, will require a substantial amount of consideration and planning. Doing so with purpose and intention can help limit your confusion and stress along the way.

Commit to Cooperate

Your divorce does not have to be chaotic and bitter. In fact, the law in Colorado includes many provisions that encourage you and your spouse to cooperate, negotiate, and create workable agreements. You will only be able to do so, however, if both you and spouse decide this is what you want from the start. When you commit to working together, you can start informal negotiations can start immediately. Any conclusions that the two of you are able to reach can eventually be recorded in the formal settlement agreement.

Keep in mind that the initial commitment to cooperation is only a first step. Along the way, you might have to remind yourself a few times that it is better to work together than to fight it out in court over weeks and months.

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CO divorce lawyerOne of the most important decisions you will make when going through a divorce is choosing who you will retain to be your divorce attorney. Having the right attorney—one who is not only skilled at his or her craft but also one who you feel comfortable and confident with—is crucial to having a “successful” divorce.

When meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time, there are several areas that you should make sure you find out information on. These areas include:

Attorneys’ Fees and Other Legal Costs

What the attorney charges, such as their hourly rate, how much if any of a retainer is required, as well as other legal fees that may be involved, are topics that every attorney should be forthcoming about. No one needs any surprise expenses, especially while going through such a life-changing event. Although an attorney cannot predict the exact amount your divorce may cost, they should be able to explain the typical costs, as well as situations that could arise which could cause those expenses to increase.

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CO divorce lawyerA divorce can be a stressful and contentious matter – and not just because of the impending end of your romantic relationship. Financial matters are also particularly important in divorce, and they can have a lasting impact on each party’s quality life. If you are planning on filing for divorce or have recently been served, beware of these money issues in your case and learn how an experienced divorce lawyer may be able to help protect your interests and financial future.

Housing and Living Expenses

When couples split up, one typically leaves the family home. The other may stay, or the couple may agree to sell the home, and both may vacate the premises. Regardless of the living arrangements that they agree to, parties are encouraged to prepare for an increase in living expenses. Couples should also consider how a decrease in household income – an inevitable side effect of divorce – may impact their respective financial situations. As an example, consider downsizing early, before the proceedings begin, if maintaining the family home is not looking like a viable option.

Financially Disadvantaged Spouses

In a marriage, one party typically handles the couple’s expenses and assets. In some cases, this same party is also the sole provider. When these two concerns are combined, it can create a serious disadvantage for the non-earning spouse. While alimony or child support might be an option, even before the divorce is finalized, disadvantaged spouses sometimes lack the knowledge or resources to pursue such relief on their own. An experienced attorney can help – even if the disadvantaged spouse does not have their own money to spend. So, do not skip the lawyer just because you lack liquid funds. Instead, find out what options may be available to you.

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Mediation: Divorce on Your Schedule

Posted on in Divorce

CO mediation lawyerWhen any type of legal matter goes to court, the parties involved typically relinquish a substantial level of control over the circumstances. While it is possible that the court could broker an amicable deal, it is much more likely that acrimony and contentiousness will arise. Additionally, most court dates are set weeks or months in the future, and there is little or no progress made in between court appearances. As a result, what might have been a fairly simple divorce can quickly turn into a long, drawn-out dispute. In many situations, however, mediation might offer a much more reasonable option reaching an agreement regarding a divorce—an option that allows the involved couple to address the most important issues at their own pace.

Understanding Mediation

Mediation is a type of alternative dispute resolution in which two or more involved parties engage in negotiations under the guidance of a neutral third party. This third party—called a mediator—does not generally offer advice or solutions. Instead, the mediator provides direction for the parties to help them reach a resolution. The mediation process is used in a wide range of legal matters, and it is quite often used in family law and divorce proceedings. Spouse who choose a mediated divorce could opt to retain their own respective attorneys, and some mediators are actually licensed attorneys as well.

Scheduling Flexibility

The cooperative nature of divorce mediation makes it appealing for many situations, but mediation is often attractive for the flexibility it offers. Scheduled court dates generally require both spouses to take time off from work, arrange for childcare, and spend a great deal of time waiting for the chance to address their concerns. Mediation sessions, on the other hand, can be usually be schedule for any time that is convenient for both parties and the mediator—including evenings and weekends. This allows the process to move faster and more efficiently compared to most litigated divorce cases.

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