When any type of legal matter goes to court, the parties involved typically relinquish a substantial level of control over the circumstances. While it is possible that the court could broker an amicable deal, it is much more likely that acrimony and contentiousness will arise. Additionally, most court dates are set weeks or months in the future, and there is little or no progress made in between court appearances. As a result, what might have been a fairly simple divorce can quickly turn into a long, drawn-out dispute. In many situations, however, mediation might offer a much more reasonable option reaching an agreement regarding a divorce—an option that allows the involved couple to address the most important issues at their own pace.

Understanding Mediation

Mediation is a type of alternative dispute resolution in which two or more involved parties engage in negotiations under the guidance of a neutral third party. This third party—called a mediator—does not generally offer advice or solutions. Instead, the mediator provides direction for the parties to help them reach a resolution. The mediation process is used in a wide range of legal matters, and it is quite often used in family law and divorce proceedings. Spouse who choose a mediated divorce could opt to retain their own respective attorneys, and some mediators are actually licensed attorneys as well.

Scheduling Flexibility

The cooperative nature of divorce mediation makes it appealing for many situations, but mediation is often attractive for the flexibility it offers. Scheduled court dates generally require both spouses to take time off from work, arrange for childcare, and spend a great deal of time waiting for the chance to address their concerns. Mediation sessions, on the other hand, can be usually be schedule for any time that is convenient for both parties and the mediator—including evenings and weekends. This allows the process to move faster and more efficiently compared to most litigated divorce cases.

Two people do not get married and plan to get divorced at some later time. The topic of divorce is sometimes brought up when people and circumstances change over the course of years. Over time during a marriage, there will be many challenges, but it is when you no longer want to conquer them with your spouse that a divorce sounds like the better option.

The statistical likelihood of who gets divorced varies based on many factors such as age, the length of marriage, and if a person has divorced before. In the last two decades, the overall number of divorces have decreased from 2000 to 2014, challenging the widely accepted “truth” that half of marriages end in divorce. (The actual rate of divorce is estimated to be between 30 and 40 percent in today’s world.)

Factors Involved in Deciding to Divorce

Whether or not you have seriously considered divorcing your spouse or not, here are some signs that it is time to get a divorce:

Aside from the death of a loved one, getting a divorce is the most stressful event that is likely to happen in a person’s life. This is because a divorce encompasses almost everything in your life, from where you live and how much time you spend with your children, to your monthly expenses and tax implications. The process of divorcing your spouse is not just a legal one -- it is as much an emotional process as it is anything else. While people may tell you that you will be much happier after your divorce is over, there are plenty of realities that nobody really talks about. Here are a few things that you may not be prepared for when it comes to life after your Illinois divorce:

#1: You Will Probably Feel a Loss, Even if You Initiated the Divorce

Getting a divorce is a huge change in your life. Even if you were the one who wanted the divorce because you believed that your marriage had broken down beyond repair, you will still probably feel a mix of emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and loss. Getting a divorce is a major life transition, and you not only lose your spouse as a life partner, but you may also lose your relationships with others who are associated with your spouse, such as their family and friends. Adjusting to this loss can take time.

#2: You Might Get Mixed Reactions From Family and Friends

Unfortunately, a divorce can bring out the worst in people, including your loved ones. You may find that some people in your family treat you differently, and you may also find that some of the people that you considered to be your friends will not be there for you when you need them. On the flip side, you may also find that some people that you were never really close to before may step forward and offer the love and support that you need.

Mediation, negotiation, and collaborative divorce are typically the preferred options for resolving a divorce in modern times. They tend to save spouses time and money when they are already going through a difficult period of transition, along with their children. In most cases, it is suggested that spouses at least make an effort to settle their divorce outside the courtroom before resorting to litigation. Even couples who cannot tolerate each other’s presence can sometimes successfully reach agreements through attorney-facilitated communication. However, these alternative resolution techniques are not always practical - or a good idea. In some cases, you will need to go to divorce litigation just to achieve a fair result.

If you anticipate that your divorce will require litigation to solve, it is important that you find an attorney who will aggressively guard your interests in court.

3 Good Reasons to Proceed With Litigation in Your Divorce Action

There are divorce cases where some or all issues can only be resolved through a courtroom battle. Divorce courts exist for a reason. Sometimes an impartial judge is the best person to decide issues including property division, whether spousal support is appropriate, and child custody arrangements. Reasons your attorney may advise you to proceed with divorce litigation in a high-conflict case include:

Getting a divorce can be emotionally and financially draining even when both spouses are cooperative and interested in an amicable resolution. The process can be even more difficult in high-conflict cases. Litigation may be necessary to resolve certain disputed issues when an agreement cannot be reached.

Perhaps your spouse is being unreasonable and refusing to negotiate, or perhaps there is legitimate disagreement over who should keep certain marital assets. When divorce becomes a contentious battle rather than a collaborative process, it is especially important that you seek out strong legal counsel to advocate for you.

Options to Consider During Contentious Divorce Cases

You may feel as if your options are limited, but you could have more tools available than you think. When you are facing a high level of conflict during divorce, here are a few things to consider: